Tag Archives: modesty

My Experiences of Finnishness

Finns have their own quirks like every nationality. For me, this blog post was hard to write because there were so many topics already covered in previous posts. However, I found some topics to write about.

Need for private space is very obvious. Finns don’t want to get close to strangers so if there is space, it gets evenly filled. In a student restaurant, for example, we don’t go to sit opposite to a stranger. An unwritten rule is that we always leave at least one or two empty chairs in between whenever possible! In case of a smaller table with only four chairs we maximize the distance by leaving the nearest opposite chair to the stranger empty. This way we avoid looking the other person straight in the eyes which would be uncomfortable. The attached simple illustration tries to show this need for private space.

Circles are chairs. Black circles represent occupied chairs.

Modesty shows in many ways in Finns behaviour. There is always someone better than us for doing a task. For example, when inviting guests to your place and serving food for them, it’s common to say that “I hope this is eatable” etc. It means that the guests could probably cook better than us. Another example is when you’re going for a date with a Finn. Please start discussing about your mutual interests instead of stressing to what you can do the best even when you’re very good at it. As a professional ice hockey player you should try to downplay your abilities, at least a bit.

One common hobby that many Finnish people have is to collect stuff. Whether it is something small or big or something in between, you can always find someone who collects the same items like you. For example, in Finnish Huuto.net auction website there is over 250000 collectibles now being sold. Some collectables I’m aware of are:

  • Bread ties
  • Bottle caps
  • Moomin cups
  • Newspaper articles which have spelling errors
  • Postage stamps
  • Ice hockey cards
  • Money
  • Cartoon figures
  • Glossy, often embossed, image (kiiltokuva)
  • Old guns

 

Bread tie plant

Of course, I’m now generalising all this. Not all Finns are what I just wrote but sometimes you have to do stereotypes.

It takes time, but it’s worth it

Before you start to read this post, please play the following song from Youtube while reading. By doing this, you will share the same song and ambient I had while writing. The song is a Samish yoik, which reminds me of my home in Northern Finland.

Jon Henrik Fjällgren – Daniel’s Jojk

The older I get, the more I romanticize the quietness the Finnish forests, lakes and rivers so kindly share us. No matter how big the city you are living here in Finland, you don’t have to travel far to find a cabin or cottage next to a quiet lake more or less isolated from neighbors. The further north you go, the less you find other people or distractions created by the modern mankind.

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Sometimes it just needs a snowmobile and a sunny day to find yourself in the middle of nowhere. Ahhh, Finnish heaven.

If you count the words “quiet” and “quietness” I used in the latter chapter, you might understand where I’m heading at. It does not seem to be just a stereotype that Finnish people love to embrace the moment of being alone or surrounded by people they feel comfortable with. Try to have a chat with a shy Finnish person – you won’t find yourself having a word rich dialogue.

BUT, try to get yourself with a group of Finnish strangers into one of those cabins mentioned before for an extended weekend – man, you might surprise yourself! It could contain a few (read many) brewskies, definitely many sauna rounds, while between skinny dipping yourself into the lake (or ice hole, carved open with a motor saw during the winter) and I almost bet my bottom that the Finns have opened themselves to you. They might talk with you over the nights, laugh and cry and sometimes both at the same time. But once again, this means having them Finns in a comfortable place. It’s not easy to tame a typical Finn, haha.

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Two good friends, a crackling fire and bottle of Finnish alcohol Jalokahvi and it’s enough. No words needed.

I have not traveled around the world ten times, but I have traveled and experienced different cultures. What I’ve seen is that we Finns tend to really follow the rules excluding IKEA manuals. You can see that buildings are built exactly as the regulations say. The law is the law. From my point of view I can say that it feels more safe and equal when you know that everybody has the same laws and articles to obey, and everybody’s following them.

Sure we can also find tragiomic examples of obeying rules too tight. You can be sure there are no bars serving even a single drop of alcohol after 3.30 am. In the motorway, don’t you dare driving too fast or not use the blinker when switching lanes – straight middle finger or a honk is pointed at you my friend. Sitting in a train in a two pair seat, on the wrong side of these two equally same spots, I can assure you that a typical Finn will for sure wake you up 2.38 in the morning to say: “Could you move, you’re on my spot” (happened to my friend, haha). Now I am actually currently in a train on my way to Helsinki-Vantaa Airport and some a-hole is talking too loudly on his phone (for other people normal voice level). Typical Finnish reaction to unnecessary attention, haha.

When interviewing a Finn after a won game in sports, I promise you that he won’t say anything of their team of being just simply the best, unbeatable and how they’ve been winning every game during the season and will continue their path of victories. The Finnish player would probably say something, that today was a better day for their team, but there’s still a lot to do to make the team play more efficient and basically better. Finns are modest. Everything that’s done better than average is considered as bragging. Try to speak about your achievements. Haha, the boaster stamp achieved. We let the achievements to speak for themselves. It’s a vice and a virtue to be this modest.

At the end of the day we can find ourselves being quiet, modest and rule-followers. It is really what you can expect from a country where there’s less than 5.5 million people spread all over the 338,424 square kilometer area causing the density being only 16 persons per square kilometer. Just to compare with Macao, the number one in density of population, it’s 21,352 per square kilometer (Wikipedia). So no wonder we tend to keep by ourselves. But believe me, give a Finn some time and you might make a loyal friend for the rest of your life.

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Eventually you will find making friends for life.

 

My experience of Finnishness

As being a Finn, it is somehow hard to find a specific characteristic from Finnishness but at the same time it is hard to choose only couple of them. Finnishness is this entity, built with sisu, honesty, neighbor jealousy and modesty.

Education is also one part of Finnishness. No one is left outside in the field of education. Finland offers free education to all of its citizens so that everyone has equal chance to become something big, or small, if that is what they want!

education

Finnish mentality is something that I often laugh at, even if I am a Finn myself. Finns do not want to brag about themselves (even though they secretly like if they are admired) but at the same time they want to be the best, or at least better than their neighbors.

Let’s have an example. My neighbor has bought a new car. First thought: ‘’why he needs to show off? Such a dork…´´ and the next thing is to by myself a new car. After someone compliments my new shiny car, the immediate answer: ´´ It’s an old and dirty junk. It was kind of a cheap too…´´.

This is why I love Finnishness. Try to be better than everyone else but don’t show off.

 

The most common things about Finnishness is shyness, quietness and big personal space. In some way these all are so true and I can relate into them a bit too well. But hey! Every other nationalities and nations have their own characteristics too. For example, being loud and super outgoing. This is why Finns are needed! If majority of nationalities tend to speak a lot and they love being around each other, Finns are the ones who will listen and populate the rural areas in the hope of some personal space and quietness.

Nature and Modesty – Finnish values

Finnish Love of Nature

10% of Finland consists of lakes, rivers and ponds, and 78% of the country is covered in forests. Originally, almost one third of Finland used to be swamp area, Hence the name: Suomi, which roughly translates to swamp land. It only makes sense that Finns highly respect and value nature.

I spent my childhood in a small town in the countryside where they not only teach kids biology but also encourage, or force them outside to actually get to know different plants, animals etc. Even in wood crafting classes we make homes for birds. In winter we sometimes went ice fishing on a nearby lake during gym classes.

Finnish cities have lots of trees, bushes and plants everywhere. There are quite a lot of parks too even though you don’t need to venture far from any city to find forests and “proper” nature.

In the countryside towns and areas most people have at least some kind of gardens that consist of apple trees, blackcurrant shrubs, flowers, vegetables among tons of other plants. People like to live and be surrounded by at least a bit of nature.

Finnish love for nature has a history too. Like in many other countries, nature was worshipped in Finland. In Finnish mythology each part of the nature (water/lakes, forests, thunder, underworld etc.) has it’s own deity. Furthermore, forests were believed to be homes to wisps, elves, and other mysterious and even scary creatures.

Nowadays the believers of the “old gods” or that pagan religion are very few but the respect for nature hasn’t gone away. Forests in the early autumn are swarming with berry pickers desperately trying to find the best blueberry and lingonberry locations. A bit later come the mushroom pickers. People go jogging in the forests and almost all Finns know how to swim which is easily taken for granted.

One could say we are really proud of our nature.

Finnish Modesty

Despite being proud of many things, especially things that are recognised world wide, Finns tend to be really humble people. Many Finns lack the skill of being proud about themselves in public since it’s easily considered as narcism or bragging.

If we are given something the first things we say are something like: “Oh you shouldn’t have brought anything!” or “I really don’t need anything”. If kids are given money as a present they’re taught to offer it back first telling it’s too much – or at least I was.

But the modesty of Finns isn’t as simple as it seems. It is true that we don’t want to look bad and we tend to stress a bit too much what others think about us, but the other reason for modesty is that we respect people who have done us something good (a compliment for example) and highly appreciate anything someone’s given us. Nothing is taken for granted. And the Finnish way to do this is to kind of like decreasing their own value in order to increase the complimenter’s. If that makes any sense.

In a nutshell, Finnish modesty comes from deep appreciation and respect towards someone who’s done something good to us. It’s not like we feel bad about ourselves and think we don’t deserve anything.

I know I don’t.

-Waltteri

The Finnish way of life

 

Finland is a country where considerable weight is attached to the spoken word – words are chosen carefully and for the purpose of delivering a message. Finns place great value on words, which is reflected in the tendency to say little and avoid ‘unnecessary’ small talk. As the Chinese proverb puts it, “Your speech should be better than silence, if it is not, be silent.“ The conception that Finns are a reserved and taciturn has changed and does not retain the same validity as it used to, certainly not with the younger generations. Nevertheless, it is fair to say that Finns have a special attitude to words and speech: words are taken seriously, and people are held to what they say. Finns rarely enter into conversation with strangers, unless a particularly strong impulse prompts it. As foreigners often note, Finns are curiously silent in the metro, the bus or the tram. In lifts, they suffer from the same mute embarrassment as everyone else in the world.

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Finland mentioned! Let’s meet at the town square!

Honesty is highly valued in Finland. It is important to always keep your promises and adhere to agreements. For Finns, dishonesty is the worst vice imaginable. Work and diligence are held in high regard. Equality and fairness are important values for Finns. In Finnish society, everyone is equal and must be treated fairly. Women and men are equal. Punctuality is important in Finland. When you have a meeting, it is essential to arrive at the agreed time. If you have made an appointment with an official or doctor, for example, it is especially important to be there on time. Modesty is a significant value in Finland. People tend not to distinguish themselves in a group. They avoid loudness and bragging. In Finland, it is good manners to take others into account and listen to them. Finns are not very quick to strike up conversations with strangers. For this reason, Finns may initially appear quiet and cold. The Finnish style of speech is direct and straightforward. Finns tend to state things directly and honestly. In Finland, it is expected that people truly mean what they say. Finns often speak slowly with long pauses in between. Silence is not undesirable but natural, and quiet moments do not need to be filled with speech. It is uncommon in Finland to show your emotions in public. It is considered rude to raise your voice when speaking, especially in a public place.

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President Sauli Niinistö riding a velociraptor

Like Asians, Finns take off their shoes after they have entered someone else’s house which can be considered as  somewhat weird behavior to some people. Tipping has never fitted very comfortably into the Finnish way of life. This may have originally been due to the traditions of a religion which emphasized frugality. Today, the rather blunt reason for not tipping is that the price paid includes any unusual instances of service or politeness i.e. the view taken is that “service is included”.